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recently my life has been in a mess. yes very contradicting because in my prev post i said that i'm actually very happy and contended with my life right now. but the fact is that i've been lying to myself ALL THE TIME. i'm not happy and i shouldnt be afraid to admit it.
majority of my friends whom i really trust ALWAYS disappoint me. they'll always claim that they will 'be there for me no matter what' but when shit happens to me they'll also be the one who ditch me. i don't know if its because i'm too trusting or did i have expectations which are far from what they can give. but i really hate the feeling of being betrayed or left alone. i always tell my friends that i'm '#foreveralone'. i made it sound as if its a joke but deep inside my heart i'm really feeling that way,feeling that i'm all alone and nobody cares. i don't know who are my true friends because i'm always afraid that they will turn out to be someone different from what ive expected.
i dont know what to feel.
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